Saturday, August 1, 2009

C'mon, I'm happy

i can't claim i know the secret of happiness. coz if i did, no one would belive me. huh. miss x told me the other day that behind that infectious smile of mine, the turmoil within is clearly visible. damn! what is she? such an insight! we lesser mortals can nvr be even close to that coz she can see turmoil behind the smile(well what dat place is called exactly?) of a girl in blissful state. why can't many belive dat i am finally, finally happy?
most probable reasons:
1. i don't flash a close-up toothpaste smile on every possible occasion
2. i still don't have a bf

i wont argue much on the first one, i kno i must improve on that.
but the second one! some just don't accept dat u can be happy without a guy. those who knew about my crush on _______ are the hardest to convince. i hav a classmate, who keeps on asking if i found someone, everytym i chat with him on gmail. result: i hav stopped chatting wid him for more than two months. hi hi. ( we generally don't talk about these things at schul, otherwise my nosy frnds will make him my u-kno-wat)
talking about dating, it becomes painful only if one's affection goes too far to reach obsession. Britney Spears advice on the issue- never go too deep, remain at the surface.
y didn't I come to kno it earlier?
the truth is i knew it wen i fell into obsession.
but dat is y they call it FALLING in love. as if u r falling into a ditch. all ur intelligence goes into the freezer n u enjoy being made a fool of. some of the higher breed still feel 4 the guy after breakup n supposedly still WAIT for him. wow. but then dats the paradox, the difference between imfatuation n true love. i used to think like if ever i love some guy, i will continue to luv him even if my feelings r not reciprocated. my philosophy took a u-turn once my 1st crush didn't work out. so, until i do fall in true , my philosophy will remain the same- guard against doing wat our previous generations of women hav done. that's y we hav been called the weaker sex, rite?
coming back, i declare-yes i am happy. singletons can b happy. i admit i hav not done enough in exams to say, lyf cudn't hav been better. but i hav matured a lot in the last four months. i guess, i hav learnt to apply the law of averages to myself. i hav realised dat i hav limitations, even in the field i am best at. i guess i hav realised dat i can't always b the best, no matter if i was, sumtym ago. i hav learnt to take lyf as it comes. now i kno to laugh at myself. now i kno, wat happiness is, in true sense. so many reasons to b happy!