Wednesday, January 4, 2012

My new year resolution for 2012

So, 2011 is gone. Now of course I couldn't do an year that has been on the 1st day of this year for 2011 as I had done for 2010 last year, but these 2 lines should suffice to describe my 2011:

Tremendous success. 


And tremendous emotional turbulence.




From being the topper of my college and the 3rd topper of the university in my subject to presenting my first research paper in a national conference where I drew much accolade, success was never too distant this past year. I finally gained some confidence in my writing, after winning the 1st prize in an inter college creative writing competition here in DU held at my college during our fest (in which I had the courage to participate only because it was in my own college and it didn't hurt if I spent 40 minutes writing something in a lecture hall with 30 others when I had nothing else to do but to roam around and scan the interesting milieu lol).
 As nothing follows success as more success does, I won another inter college creative writing contest and then finally started taking my blog seriously. I advertised it in various places (imagine my blog being 2 years old already and me knowing nothing about indiblogger! - check out my indiblogger profile here) and became more regular and was ranked as high as 76!(for those who are unaquainted with the ways of indiblogger- the higher the rank the better)

Meanwhile I also applied for a few online magazines and ended up becoming an author for the prestigious critical thinkers and writing one article for the upcoming ePICKme


Winning the inter college psychology quiz at our college and getting the 3rd position in the much bigger inter college psychology quiz at I.P college as well as winning two taboo contests with Chhavi added to my trophy cabinet and to my confidence in myself. 

Visiting DRDO on the valentine's day and being made to realise that I could be an intern at DIPR was another high(no not with boyfriend, with my professor rather). 

Of course, the biggest high came from the acceptance of my abstract for the NAOP conference and my experience there plus being university ranker in my very first year of graduation.

But none of this could give me lasting happiness. There was elation, a high, exhilaration. But not bliss.

In fact the emotional roller coaster that 2011 was, has made me wary of laughing too hard or shedding tears lest my soul fall apart with the pressure it has handled this past year. I have tried to touch the life of every Tom, Dick and Harry who has happened to cross my path, in my own way, to comfort the person, to shower plenty of good advice and long lists of must-read self help books. Yet, when it has came to myself, I have been more than careless.
Some may find it hard to believe this, those who know me in person as I am the inexpressive me. But those who really know me must also know that the calm exterior is actually a protective coat for the supersensitive interior. 

Spirituality was there of course, as my perennial comfort. But I kept jumping in and out of it, jumping in to find refuge and jumping out out of sheer negligence and over confidence.

So, this year I have only one resolution: attaining emotional stability, which means attaining the zen like serenity that nothing can affect, neither deafening applause nor scathing criticism, and most importantly, not just from outside but also from the inside.



4 comments:

  1. My 2011 was also emotionally turbulent..hoping for a better 2012..all the best to u 2!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My 2011 was hell...let's hope 2012 brings better things for everyone....

    ReplyDelete

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