Sunday, February 12, 2012

My Journey in love: Romancing Words, Romancing Life

In matters of love, it will not be unseemly to regard me as old fashioned.
Good or bad, this I owe to the classics and poetry that have nourished my soul since the last couple of years. Starting from reading most of the works of Kahlil Gibran (Broken Wings being my favourite) and  of Jane Austen viz. Persuasion, Mansfield Park, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Northanger Abbey, Emma (in descending order of my preference) I graduated to The Scarlet Pimpernel, Gone With The Wind, Jane Eyre and finally Wuthering Heights.

I remember plunging headlong into a mini depression for 4 days after finishing Wuthering Heights and experiencing many a peak experience while going through Broken Wings, Persuasion, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Gone With The Wind and Jane Eyre. What bliss! What profound bliss these classics endowed me with- not just in the happy endings but also in the parts that made me sit up and cry my heart out.

Actually these few books are the only ones to have succeeded in penetrating my soul and making it capable of realising its beauty and strength.  These books were indeed the first to be found capable of waking up the dormant love inside me, of intimating to me my hitherto undiscovered ability to appreciate beauty and of making me see my past few relationships in proper light.

Since then, life has been this beautiful emotional roller coaster that has often surprised me with the knowledge of what all I had missed in the first 17 years of my life. Not everything has been perfect, but the point is I have been made aware of the depths of my soul, the depths it can plunge into as also the heights it can touch.

You may not agree, but I feel I have good reason to believe that today’s love stories don’t have the same magic in them as the classics. Stolen glances, clandestine meetings, sweet nothings, eternal constancy, singular love, happily-ever-after…..even typing all this makes me go back in time and feel the old world romantic charm of the likes of Captain Wentworth (of persuasion) and Mr. Darcy!

Writing came as another way of giving a voice to the closeted romantic in me. It was only after writing out the discomfort inside that I first realised my capacity of reciprocating somebody’s love.
Now of course I won’t tell you anything more about it, not even its present status lol but it will suffice to say that writing was, at that emotionally testing period, my only mainstay- my comfort, my life, my God.

If I could be made to accept my true feelings, I owe it to writing out stuff. If I could be made to make sense of the mess I had made my life, I owe it to writing out stuff. If I could be made to stay sane when all sorts of stuff happened in my love life, I owe it to writing everything out. And for another reason, writing, even utter rubbish, actually was the lifeline of a very special relationship.
This blog, for a good period of time, was the lifeline of a relationship.

It now seems unbelievable that I spent so many years of my life with blinders on, before reading and writing shone upon me the sunshine that so many others had already been basking in.

A thousand bows to all the writers mentioned above, for opening my eyes and opening up my heart to love. 
Thanks also to the force that made me pour out my feelings in black and white for the first time for the journey I began then, has now become dearer than any destination I may choose henceforth.

1 comment:

  1. no wonder the blogger space is glad to hav a fellow blogger like u !!
    d above mentioned books sadly i had read none ,,but u hav succeeding in bringing out the serene love that u felt upon reading dese books ,,nice post indeed ...!! keep blogging :)

    ps: i love watching love movie ,,not a big reader :P


Hey there! Your comment might prove to be just the push needed for me to write more frequently and with a bit more thought and planning. Do take out a minute or two and tell me what you felt about this blog or this post of mine and any suggestions you think might prove to be useful. Your comment is highly awaited...