Saturday, February 11, 2012

On this promise day

The concept of Valentine’s Day has never held any charms for me. Neither has that of rose day, chocolate day or teddy day for that matter. To me, well....all this celebration smacks of frivolousness. 

True love ought to be shown, I believe, every single day, and not as a teddy bear or a red rose necessarily. Promise day, however, seems to be a good idea since we are not given to make promises everyday to our beloved, though it would be great if we could do exactly that. To tell you the truth, a text message from my best friend, asking me to make a promise on this promise day was the trigger of this outpouring :D Pallavi, if you are reading this, promise me that you will be a regular follower of this blog and I promise to keep making you more and more popular :P

I digress so easily :/

Coming back, in my book, there is no place for drama in a relationship that has grown beyond its initial euphoria. At the beginning, yes, one tends to go overboard about showing one’s love and it is perfectly alright. But it is after the excitement seems to wear off and the partners get predictable in terms of gifts that the real challenge appears: of keeping the love alive, minus the drama.

So a glance (not just any type mind you), a smile (one in which the eyes light up and the soul seems to smile with the lips), a hug (just when one seems in need of it badly, or when one doesn’t expect it at all), a romantic poem- not necessarily original (or better still, a long, really long, self written love note) hold more weight for me than a box of Swiss chocolates or an Archie’s teddy bear. These far outlast the frivolity of the still-in-honeymoon period and can carry very strong messages provided the partner has the eyes to see and the ears to hear and the heart to understand the value of it all.

A walk in the rain together, counting stars together, cooking a meal together, reading the favourite parts from the favorite novel of one’s partner, crying together watching a movie, shouting together watching a cricket match, or just little, little acts of consideration and kindness are far, far more romantic than presenting gifts on stipulated dates.

Tell me, isn’t being reminded of how special you are on sticky notes placed on your work desk, or the fridge, or TV, or even on the dressing table more romantic when you are least expecting it, like not on any special day?

Isn’t it more romantic to do special things for your partner on an otherwise not-so-special day and making it special for him? That’s why having only one day in the year for the celebration of love takes the whole juice out of it.

Moral of the story: In romance, being old fashioned is actually being more romantic, truly romantic!


  1. You couldn't be more right Sudha!! These are my sentiments exactly....I see Valentine's Day as pure commercialism and ultimate forced display of love. Love should be displayed spontaneously and periodically whenever the desire arises and not just be reserved for one stupid day of the year..simple acts of love have a more profound and lasting be perfectly frank Valentines Day kinda pisses me off....and your suggestion of a promise day...I think it sounds nice in theory but it will head in the same direction, if not worse....why?? Because broken promises often hurt even more....I'm sounding like a grumpy old woman but hey its what I feel...

    u r spot on wen u say simple acts of love hav a more profound and lasting impact. n imagine the plight of a person who thinks like us but his/her partner doesn't! valentine's day 4 him ll actually b no less than forced display of love, as u say. regarding promise day, well yes i'll concede dat wat u say is somewhat true, very much possible, but then the romantic in me is nt ready to concede too much :P

    1. I'm glad to be back ;-) Love is so simple and yet the male species can't comprehend fact I was having a very interesting debate with a friend who claimed that Valentine's day is not commercialism...he voiced that if we can celebrate birthdays, eid, diwali and consider them not to be commercialism....then why consider Valentine's day to answer was and still is...religious occasions should be celebrated in style because its yr faith...birthdays are a personal choice...and if someone wants to celebrate the day the world was blessed with my presence...I'm not stopping for Valentine's day...its ok to celebrate as long as its not the only day of the year where you are showered with love...I want to be showered with love in subtle ways every single day :-P ..not necessarily with flashy gifts...Sudha, your post became the subject of quite a heated

  3. so do believe ki Shiva Ratri Mother's day or Women's day are FRIVOLOUS too????? cuz True love, respect n devotion ought to be shown, u believe, every single day, and not as a Shiva Ratri , Mother's day or Women's day necessarily..........
    n JANNAT aint EID N DIWALI commercialised.
    when ur friends can throw u a party or present u gifts to make ur day special.... aunty can cook delicacies on Holi. Whats wrong in celebrating Vday n add some memories??????... Han the PDA is not accepted in India n equally considered as obscenity so this sud be prohibited. is that wat u mean.....:P

    1. Shiva Ratri ain't frivolous- that's the day Lord Shiva was married to Mata Sati. Now that u hav stirred the hornet's nest, m going to devote a post, right now, to your query.
      Mother's day, Women's day...yes, I DO find them frivolous. Respect and love are something that can't b confined to be expressed on a particular day in the year. Eid and Diwali r festivals, mind u. Don't compare apples with oranges!
      Birthdays, well that's the day one was 'born'. Being happy about being alive every single day sounds gr8, but if 1 has a fixed day to celebrate it then y not? That's nt the same with showing dat u love a person. Love is something that cannot b captured in water tight compartments of moments and days.
      Your views r commendable, but it is unfortunate that u picked up wrong examples to substantiate ur points.
      And the PDA point is relevant, but that hasn't got much to do with my views on Valentine's day. I am aware of the history and significance of the day, St. Valentine's sacrifice and stuff and there is no denying that for most of the love birds this is a day highly awaited throughout the year and it does add to memories. Yet i do hav a bone of contention wen i say "having only one day in the year for the celebration of love takes the whole juice out of it."
      As Jannat put it so beautifully, "it is ok to celebrate as long as it is not the only day of the year when u r showered with love...I want to b showered with love in subtle ways every single day."

  4.! We have an interesting debate going

    @ Anonymous - its plain you don't actually support the views you just penned out...why?? Because you chose not to mention yr name next to yr comments...that says to me...yr comments are merely posted to instigate a reaction lol just stirring the dish without adding flavour ;-) and I can bet my life on it that yr male....only a man would have such a warped point of view :-P lol

    I also find it interesting that "Anonymous" :-) has not posted a reply to Sudha's think its one argument we are definitely winning.....LOL

    Religious days are incomparable to any other frivolous, materialistic, commercialist day...I need not say anymore..end of!


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