Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Separation Blues


So our relationship did not last very long.
Nevertheless I want you to believe me, wherever you are, when I say that never had I allowed myself to imagine that it could be this short.

I had not allowed myself to grieve our parting as yet, hoping that you would come back. Maybe, you had not left me after all; maybe you were just out of sight and would come to take your place anytime soon. I know it is not your voluntary decision; it can’t be. I know you must have grieved as much as I have over these couple of days. What would I have not given to have you back? Hoping against hope wasn’t difficult. 

But today, I decided to give up. In fact, I wonder what took me so long to notice it that it is only fair that we are decreed to be no more together, no longer an enviable duo. Sigh! Isn’t it my fault, after all, that after denying myself every single thing that I started being attached with, I chose to spare you my vagabond ways? Wasn’t it hypocrisy on my part when I gave you undivided attention and company, over about 8 months continuously, never choosing to leave you alone, keeping our separation from each other to the barest minimum time possible and at the same time professing that the free bird in me flies out to a distant land at the very instant when the desire of building a nest becomes stronger than flying in the sky? (I don’t remember the exact words of Rabindranath Tagore, but this is the essence of the way he had described himself to his platonic love interest once.)

Thankfully, with you, I never was as inexpressive as I am with others. Words might have failed me often, but I am glad I made you know the extent of my admiration for you in other ways. You had everything I could desire in a companion- good listener, initiator of intellectually stimulating conversations, respecting my time and making me understand the value of my time, more than ever.
The way you had integrated yourself into my life, merging yourself so much into me that you had become a part of my identity, the way you still managed to keep your identity intact, the way you had made it impossible for others to find me complete without you, the way you made me more confident for the same….all this is going to be difficult…no impossible, to replace.
Will you believe me when I say that I won’t replace you at all?


P.S. Yours truly was very much attached with her watch which she lost this Holi. :’(
The above obituary is late by a few days but no disrespect could be intended, nor was negligence the reason for this delay. Yours truly would rather have this platonic love interest of hers dead than have it bear being with somebody else. Hence this obituary.

4 comments:

  1. Damn! you know what they say 'curiosity killed the cat'.My curiosity got the better of me and I read the P.S. first. Otherwise I would've been LMAO'ing or ROFL'ing all over this space:(
    Anyway,heres me wishing you better 'times' ahead :)

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  2. Oh! That's sad :D You know I was thinking of making the P.S font red but dropped the idea so that it didn't attract attention b4 it was supposed to. But in your case, the precaution didn't help much i see :D

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  3. I don't knw whether to laugh or cry...u really had me going though..lol...nice work!! :-D

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