Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hail Psychology

Another year has swiftly come to an end and in a month I'll be entering the 3rd and last year of my graduation. This past year has been like none other before in terms of the highs and lows I went through and I am inclined to say I would love to live out the year gone by once again just for the transformation it brought in me as a person. The highs were more career wise and the lows were more emotionally and the best part is I like it that way. In studies, I like remaining right at the very top, climbing upwards, with my competitors so far away behind that there is no question of the fear of being usurped. This way, I can still remain the savior of my closest competitors in their times of distress, guiding them, encouraging them, helping them in what they feel a 'selfless' manner LOL. This makes sure that my need to help doesn't fire back. Emotionally however, I love my extremes. I love being drunk on love and hypnotised in bliss while weeping tears of longing and leafing through Kahlil Gibran's omnibus edition on my bed stand. I love my peaks and I love my troughs. Valley? No, not for me. (Only when it becomes too much to bear that I go back to the teachings of the Brahmakumaris.)
Doesn't it sound like self perpetuated 1st stage of manic-depressive disorder btw? LOL

Trust me, having opted for psychology has been my best decision so far in life and every time I come across something in my books that makes my heart filled with joy or brim with pride, I look up and let God know this. My family here and my ex-roommates and all my close friends who didn't have the good fortune to fall for psychology and rise with it have been pissed off hearing my declaration of love time and time again; so you see God is the only one who can still take in my devotion to psychology.

These days, when my younger sister is grappling with English Hons. vs. Engineering, I know how important it is to have a clear head in times of decision making and what a whale of difference passion or the lack of it makes. She is worried about a secure job, a handsome salary blah, blah, blah but not about following her heart and when I talk of the importance of being in love with your subject, your passion driving you forward and not your pay-check etc. she tells me I am talking like a middle aged woman! I might be, I don't know but I'm sure I'll never have to work a day in my life as long as it has something to do remotely with psychology or bringing about some kind of change in the society. It will be play, even if it has to be for 15-16 hours a day.

It is amazing how much my desire to work for a change in society, to make a difference in the lives of people, blends with the very nature of psychology. Be it as a researcher or a bureaucrat, I will be 'creating' my happiness myself. Outward signs of success have never dictated my choices, so it won't matter if do not earn a 6 figure salary. Inwardly, I will be successful, and successful also in my own field. At least this one thing in my life is sorted.

But the first step of this journey wasn't all this easy.
Not opting for either of medical or engineering wasn't easy. Upsetting everyone in the family wasn't easy. Not opting for at least a 'science' subject for graduation wasn't easy. Bearing with people speculating about my reasons to leave the science stream wasn't easy.
Being hammered with questions about 'Why-not-English-hons-then' due to my known love for literature wasn't easy. Being labelled confused, reckless, mad wasn't easy.
But it turns out that I have secured life long contentment with that one courageous decision. Hail Psychology. 

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