If I were to make a list of what all I don't like about you, it would run very long. There are just so many such things. Take for example how terribly helpless you make me feel. Freud would say this post is an attempt at intellectualisation and isolation, and for once I would whole heartedly agree with him. Writing about you, here, 'is' an attempt to ward off the anxiety threatening to make me mad. Trying to sound angry 'is' an attempt to make sure I don't slip into depression. And imagine all this because of what's going on in your life with no fault of yours! Ah! I don't like this state of helplessness. I really don't. Your pain pierces my soul and gnaws at me all day. That you try to keep it away from me makes me all the more miserable. I may sob all night long but that's actually all of what I manage to do, and this makes me feel pathetic about myself. And this world, too. No matter how much faith I may have in humanity, the human beings around you who have made your life what it is have left me utterly hopeless. You know that I don't like feeling hopeless.
I keep asking God 'why' but he doesn't reply. Strangely, when it comes to me, he never fails to come to my rescue but when it is you, he chooses to react as if he can't hear me. I have told him a number of times how guilty I feel loaded with all this happiness about me yet he keeps loading me with more and more success and people to make me happier still. I asked him today to give some happiness of my share to you. How foolish of me not to have come up with this prayer before. I'm sure you had prayed to him long back to give my sorrows to you. That's of course mean. But then when exactly have you been fair? You thrived in shouldering other people's sorrows and making them your own, so now it is for you to reap the harvest of all that needless accumulation of burdens. Thinking about yourself never came to you naturally, no? Who is to blame then, when now you are entrapped in a state where you are not allowed to think for you?
Anyways, all I want to tell you is stop sabotaging yourself further. You are killing me, every single minute of the day. Try and find out some way to be happy. I can be truly happy only when I know that you are happy. If not for yourself, try doing it for me. I couldn't have told you all this directly nor could I have asked you to read it, but I knew the universe would work its magic and send my message to you. And so it did, I hope.