Monday, December 3, 2012

Floundering footsteps

I die a little every time I realize that I have hurt you again, yet again. I die a little every time I remember my lofty promise to you that I would never ever hurt you. I have died several tiny deaths since that day.

So easy it is to make promises and so difficult to live up to those!

Now do you see why I called myself c* p*? It's far better not to raise expectations than to raise lofty ones and then shatter those every once in a while, don't you agree? And I laugh at myself for the reasons I have hurt you so, time and time again. That day, I was in a dream when you came unbidden and breathed life into the tired me and when it was time for you to go, my dreamy self refused to let it all end on an earthy note. It wanted a dream ending. For it had been all so dreamlike!

What may appear commonplace to you, was special and magical for me. You didn't try anything extraordinary, you may say, but every word uttered in that dialog would make some part of a memorable chapter of my life. Even the silly way the dream ended, made sense later. Because it found its way to my book of special memories that I think of again and again and live my paradise. The only hitch is, I took you for granted and said things I shouldn't have. I won't say sorry, rather I'll try and see to it that I don't repeat such a mistake again. It takes a lot of foolery to slip up after a public promise, you see :D

9 comments:

  1. dont u think unnecessary sorry may bring the 'unpleasant go' in a relationship. n the solution to this will be yet another sorry? :P

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    1. Ah! Well...unnecessary or necessary is so subjective that what maybe totally unnecessary for one may be absolutely necessary for me and I don't care about how many times I have to apologize or whether the other person really wants it if it absolves me of guilt.
      Nice observation btw ;)

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  2. Sudha, its so rude not to reply to the comments of a fan.....

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    1. Yes it is. I admit I have been careless. And I'm sorry for that reason. I'll see to it that from now onwards I reply asap :) But if you are the same Jannat that I know of, then tell me wasn't it rude to have disappeared the way you did? :P

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    2. I never disappeared....I'm always in the background ;)

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  3. "SORRY" is so simple but sometimes I find it little embarrassing in both give and take :)

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  4. Sudha!! you know what, this piece of writing just left me pondering about a question..and i will surely ask sometime..:P

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    1. Pooch lena mister :D Apni love life k baare mein as promised sab kuch batane wale ho shortly, hai na? Uske baad kuch bhi pooch sakte ho :P

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