Love is not meant to bind one to anything, even if it is to anticipated fears. Love is not meant to make one weak and dependent. True love is always a source of infinite strength, security and joy. If it's not that then something somewhere is wrong. Yet the equation is not so simple when you understand that there's one thing you can't really conquer with your infinite love, no matter how much faith you have on your loved one's love for you. You become more and more scared, more and more insecure in your love when you realize that there's one thing that acts as the ultimate leveller and takes away everything, no matter how gifted, special and good you were since always. The more attached you are and the more good and pure your love for someone is, the more you start fearing it for it so happens that death is the inevitable end of every story.
Turns out it's actually not.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Alternatively, when you really, badly, and badly as in absolutely in a soul shattering state, need and seek help, it is unfailingly bestowed on you.
I can tell you; it has happened with me far too often to let it go unnoticed. It happened again, today.
I have been racked by questions of death, reincarnation, eternal love and the like in the recent past few weeks. The more I loved and the more I realized how lucky I am to be loved by a person whose love for me can match my love for him, the more I have grown distressed by questions of our not being together forever. The more I realized the beauty of this life and the genius of God lately, that this love has made me appreciate better, the more I have caught myself deliberating on what would happen to me if I live to see more days than my love. It may sound utterly silly and ridiculously far-fetched but a few knots here and there have meant that my line of thinking can't be any different.
I have been an emotional wreck when alone with myself in spite of a steady career and personal life. My guy is by the way extraordinary in not having ran away from this relationship considering how often his normal statements with neutral intentions have made me cry, and cry incessantly, for some chord used to be touched that feared our separation. Everything else, I'm confident I can deal with but the prospect of death has since long made me feel very helpless. It doesn't help that personally I haven't faced death in family, friends and close relations yet.
Today I came across a book I have very often heard about, highly recommended but one I never chanced to pick up for my library at home. I had half a day with absolutely nothing to do and so decided to give it a read in the college library. It was 'Many Lives, Many Masters' by Dr. Brian Weiss and having completed it a couple of hours ago, I'm to a great extent a lot more changed with respect to my fear of death and separation.
It's not that I haven't been told about reincarnation, past life remembrance and stuff but coming from a renowned psychiatrist, and like this, has brought my mind to peace. I'm at ease now with regards to the existential despair that was haunting me since several weeks and will now, hopefully have far less reasons to cry. Jokes apart, I highly recommend this book and specially to all students of psychology.You may not be interested in parapsychology (even I'm not) but chances are you will end up taking home a lot of life sessions at the end of the book.
I didn't intend this post to be review of the book so I leave it to you explore it further. Here you go: Many Lives Many Masters.
Lives may end but love lives on. And it is this love that keeps getting our loved ones closer to us in the cosmic labyrinth while we are on our quest to settle our respective karmic accounts- paying off debts and experientially learning lessons. Call them guardian angels or anything else, it is heartening to know that our loved ones will be with us in our coming lives too in whichever form that is chosen by their karma. That's my take home from the book amongst many others. To repeat myself, I highly recommend it.