Friday, November 29, 2013

Because love is worship

Poetry and prayer- there could be hardly any more beautiful ways of expressing awe, wonder, love and gratitude. Whereas one makes me express my love for God to the world, the other allows me to do so directly to God. Yet at the same time, they are one and the same. Poetry is prayer and prayer is poetry.

Since childhood, God has been my mainstay and best friend. Naturally that means I have been a God-loving person since always. My prayers, no wonder then, are out of the ordinary. I speak to God in a hybrid language (Odiya + English), the way I would talk to any familiar person, and my reasons of praying are myriad.

Rare bouts of maturity make me ask for divine grace. That's my word for all the little little miracles I encounter everyday that make me fall in love with God's genius more and more. There was a time I hated the word leela. Now I'm wiser enough to appreciate it for what it is. God doles out for me my share of little little tragedies too, but the way I am always surrounded with various means of overcoming all the hurdles and how I come out shinier and stronger after every run in the washing machine, makes sure I still have my faith in God very robust.

Instances of experiencing beauty, make me grateful and express my appreciation of the genius that God is. "God, You're brilliant" is my first utterance somehow, on seeing a beautiful scenery or an act of kindness. At times my love makes me feel the same too.

At other times, it's about keeping me on the right path and keeping my loved ones safe and happy.
All this doesn't mean I don't chant mantras. I do. Many people my age find those to be superfluous. I don't. I have my experiences to speak for. Mantras give me a sense of order and energy, (and some exude peace). Earlier, when I was dealing with the usual adolescent phase of questioning all second hand values of parents and society, I had questioned the need of talking to God only in Sanskrit. Over time I came across the fantastic explanation (by myself, beat that :D) that just like I would like my love to serenade me with poetry, even though poetry is not an absolute must to make me listen and melt with love, I realized God can be allowed to have his favorites too. Of course I don't know for sure if Sanskrit is indeed the favorite language of God, but with all the beauty and sophistication that there is in that language, at least to me it appears like it stands a good chance to be that.

I like my God to be perfect, yet relate-able. That's why I project ideas like these onto Him. What I believe my God to be like, is only for me to decide. Not a priest's, an agnostic's, an atheist's or a person of another religion who has objection to my idea of God. My conception of God is He who is the amalgamation of all the qualities that I see as the loftiest and aspire to myself. Why is He necessarily a male? Well He is both, Ardhanaarishwar, but I say Him for want of a better pronoun. Why this post? Well, I thought I don't think of a reason before writing about one love of mine; I need not hence before writing about another.